A Lover. Not a Fighter.

**I am about to do a super no-no. But this is my blog. And this blog is a diary, in a way. So I am writing my thoughts. And yes, with a blog 'private' thoughts are available to many people. Even strangers. So I'm begging you to think back to when you may have had similar 'private' thoughts before you decide that I am some kind of evil woman.**

I got some (more) proof today that my son is really a good kid. I knew this before, but as a parent I always question if I'm doing enough to make him a "good" human being...you know, with discipline and teachable moments and such. I know that I could do more, and everyday I am working on it. At this point I think David and I are doing a great job, and we are in the process of correcting some of our past mistakes. What I'm mostly talking about today is that inside Reagan is a very sweet and good kid. Yes, he does make mistakes and has to sit on his naughty mat. But what three year old doesn't??

While we were at "By Panda" today, Reagan and I sat next to a mom and her 2 children. 'Brother' was barely 4, and 'Sister' was 2. 'Mom' commented to me while her kids were playing that my son was very good. I don't know why she immediately thought this. We just sat down right after they did. And Reagan started eating. Brother had been asked to eat, but he decided to go play instead. Sister was eating a bit. We did the standard "how old is he/she" talk. And after Reagan was finished with most of his meal he went to play on the playscape. He always comes back for a few pit stops to finish his fruit and drink.

At some point Mom asked me if Reagan was in school or Mother's Day Out, and I told her that he was in Mother's Day Out. She asked if I liked it and where did he go. I told her where and that I absolutely love the program.

Meanwhile, Reagan came back to me whining a bit that his hand hurt. Brother had hit him. But at the same time Brother kept asking Reagan to go and play with him. Reagan went back to play.

Mom told me that Brother and Sister were in a program, but she pulled them out last month because "it was a long drive." We talked about how different schools group kids differently, and she was saying that it was hard on her son because he just turned 4 but he's big for his age. And the teachers expect him to act older than he is. She said, "He's just all boy!"

Reagan came back to me looking sad. He said that Brother was pushing him.

Reagan decided to eat some more and stay with me. He wanted me to go into the play area with him.

Mom then told me, (I promise!!! Exact words!!) "The teachers at his old school started to tell me that other kids were scared of my son. I am paying them. They should watch him better."

Um, ok. My kid is scared of your son, too.

While I was cleaning up our table so that I could go into the play area with him, Reagan went back in to play with Sister. Not 30 seconds later he came out crying. Brother was following him. Reagan said that Brother kept hitting him. Brother was telling me the same thing. Mom didn't say anything else to me.

I felt really badly for her if she was embarrassed. But I do think should have said something to me.

I have been there. Reagan used to hit when he was angry. But we worked on it, and now he doesn't hit anymore. Brother wasn't hitting because he was angry, though. He was hitting and pushing because that is how he was playing.

On the way home Reagan was telling me, "That boy kept hitting me. The girl was nice."

I was never upset with the mom or the boy. All children are different. What today showed me was that Reagan is growing into a nice person. He has always been nice. But I am proud of the behavior that he showed today. He could have hit back. But he didn't. He could have pushed back. But he didn't.

Now, I don't want him to grow up being a wimp. But he had a hitting background. So for him to not hit~~this is a great thing!