Kelly Woes

I am in such a strange funk today. And it just hit me out of no where last evening. I can not even pinpoint what is wrong with me. I have tons of guesses, but I'm not 100% sure that those guesses are what is really making my mood so foul.

And I feel so badly for David and Reagan. I am so upset by something that any little thing that Reagan does makes me crazy. Yeah, crazy. That is the only word to describe it. I usually have tons of patience, and I can usually talk calmly to him when he whines (that is the BIG thing right now and today). But today I was horrible. Just horrible. I tried everything to get him to stop whining (about nothing), but he continued to do so.

So I raised my voice. Like, really raised it. Which is something David and I try to never do. But I did it. And that didn't work. That just broke Reagan's spirit. I feel just awful about it.

Then I cried all the way to lunch. And I thought and thought about what could be making me feel like this. I feel overwhelmed for some reason. And I feel like I need a break because I am not enjoying my time with Reagan. And that just isn't right.

I will say that I feel better right now. Reagan and I had lunch with David, and it helped just to talk things out with him. But I feel like my feelings are selfish. Because if I need a break, then David certainly needs a break. My husband works so hard during the work day, comes home and is super-dad with Reagan, and then continues to work until the early morning hours while I try to have adult conversation with him! (Poor guy.)

Ah. Hopefully I'll wake up in a much better mood tomorrow. And I hope I can use the time that Reagan is at school tomorrow to rest my spirit. Because these two guys in my life deserve to have the best mommy and wife that I can be.