It Used to be Easier

I'm beat. Exhausted. Overwhelmed.

And obviously, a little whiny.

I can not describe how hard this new phase of my life is. But really. Who wants to hear about that?

I will say that today and yesterday were much better than Monday and Tuesday. I feel like I'm catching up on my To Do list, and that takes a bit of stress off of me. I also don't have to leave the house at 6:08 am tomorrow...more like 6:30...and that makes me feel good.

I miss Reagan very much. I hate not seeing him in the mornings. I feel like I'm abandoning him. Like I am slacking on my Mommy duties and leaving it all for David to do. But what else can I do? I certainly don't want to wake him up before 6am. And I'm 110% positive that David doesn't want me to do that either.

My body hasn't adjusted to the new schedule yet. So although I yearn to be with Reagan when I finally pick him up at 5:45, I am more than exhausted. And I just want to be in the same room with him~~not so much wrestle with him. Luckily he still likes to sit and play with Legos, and my body can handle that.

I just don't know how David has lived this life for 4 years. On Tuesday I woke up at 5:15, and I was at school by 6:30. I left school at 5:30. I picked up Reagan. Made "dinner". Played with the boys for a bit. Started doing school stuff BEFORE Reagan went to bed. Put him to bed around 9:30. Then did school stuff until midnight.

David's schedule is about the same, only it starts at 8am and goes to 3am. Or later.

I didn't think it would be this hard. The great thing is Reagan is doing very, very well. That makes me feel really good.

And I'm really looking forward to this long weekend with my boys.